“Words matter: stop, breathe, and think before you speak: let’s work together so that children can reach their peak”. These were the words of a poem by Tally Gilbert for the UK charity Words Matter – an organisation dedicated to ending verbal abuse of children by adults – which struck Ethan, 13. He brought them powerfully to life in the charity’s film and has been involved ever since, such is his passion for the cause.
Words Matter’s Work
On October 29, Words Matter held a parliamentary drop-in in Parliament. The reception, hosted by Sharon Hodgson MP and organised by the charity, gave MPs and Peers the chance to hear directly from young people who have been affected by verbal abuse during their childhood, adolescence, and formative years. Whether hyper-critical teachers, pr threatening or mocking parents adult guardians, the young people share one belief in common: that the ‘sticks and stones’ proverb is false, and words really can leave abiding emotional impact on and shape a person’s life.
Words Matter seeks to transform the way society behaves around and treats young people. The charity undertakes and analyses research to better understand the prevalence and consequences of verbal harm, while leading national campaigns to raise awareness of the issue and provide resources and training to promote healthier communication.
The Impact of Verbal Abuse for Young People
As young people agreed at the parliamentary drop-in, a child’s brain functions differently to an adult’s. For example, criticism can be taken more severely, jokes can be misread and the impact of speech on the child cannot be consistently predicted. Ethan attested to this, adding that he was lucky enough to have supportive parents, but that many children in less favourable positions will struggle even more – looking to adults as trusted figures of responsibility is a habit that will break down upon mistreatment; the child will become confused, scared and question their own instincts.
The fear and isolation of not having someone to talk to was a theme that also arose for Poppy (25). Although fortunate to have supportive friends, like Ethan, she emphasised the vital role of a consistent, steady, and compassionate parent. She also described the long-term repercussions of verbal abuse – extended periods of self-questioning, alienation, and depression can arise in the wake of verbal abuse aimed at young people whose world and self-conceptions are still in development. She celebrated art’s power to express and console, citing poetry as a genuine help in coming to terms with real, lived experiences.
The work of Words Matter is vital. Verbal abuse of children is now the most prevalent form of child maltreatment and mental health challenges among young people are at an all-time high. Children need positive support and encouragement from the adults in their lives more than ever – to help build their confidence, self-esteem and resilience.
But to allow parents and teachers to have the time to care and listen to young people, legislation and employers must cater for the extra time allowances required for pastoral care, as well as fostering welcoming, supportive environments to reduce stress and pressure on the adults who can become overloaded and unintentionally release such stress and pressures in the form of harsh language against a child.
Words Matter works through a combination of research, awareness campaigns, and collaboration, seeking to expose the widespread impact of verbal abuse and provide solutions for change. The charity also partners with experts, policymakers, and those with lived experience to develop practical interventions that protect and empower children.
With studies suggesting that up to 41 per cent of children experience verbal abuse from adults, Words Matter’s work is crucial, aiming to ensure that every child can grow up in an environment of respect and encouragement. Its vision is a society in which all children can thrive and reach their full potential, supported by adults who understand that the words they choose truly do matter.
